I've struggled with my weight and my self-confidence most of my life.  As I turn 40, I look back and feel an ocean of regret.  I was an outstanding teacher in the public schools for 10 years.  I was a great administrator for two years, despite not really liking the job.  I was a talented trainer for the staff development of teachers in the public school system and in charter schools all around our state.  Winning the Golden Apple for Excellence in Teaching in 2002 is something I should have savored and been more proud of over the last twelve years of my life.

So now, as I begin the second part of my life, and I enter middle age, I want to fight against that pessimist and perfectionist in me.  I want to overcome the desire to please everyone else and start making myself happy and healthy.  That is what this blog will be about for me.  Working out those struggles, discovering tips and tricks that work for me and that I can share with others.  Letting go of trying to change others, and focusing on how I can change myself and take pride in my accomplishments.

At age 40, I am 254 pounds.  I want to be fit and at a healthy weight.  I am a talented instructor for a great company, and even if I don't advance anywhere else in that company, I want to be proud of what I contribute.  I've completed at least 4 successful half marathons.  I was picked up from three half marathons that I attempted.  I don't want that to happen this year.  I am only one month post-surgery for my knee and in 19 days I will try again to complete a half.  Some will say that is crazy and I may not get the conditioning back to finish.  But I am going to try like hell to do it.  I started running to accomplish things that others said I could not do as an overweight woman who had never run before.  Now, I want to accomplish these things for me:  get fit in mind, body, and spirit.